Do You Ever Feel Out of Place?

In my over 20 years of songwriting, I’ve written many songs that were very personal. There have been songs written for my daughters (“Little Angel” and “Still A Child”), many love songs for my wife (“I Belong to You” and “Alive”), songs expressing my frustrations (“The Real World” and “God’s Children”), songs about lost loved ones (“A Better Place”), and songs expressing my faith (“The Light” and “The River”).

Often, a songwriter feels the need to express himself or herself as someone on the outside looking in, almost like a narrator for a story. When songs are written from that standpoint, it’s easy for the songwriter to disconnect from the subject matter and not make it personal. After all, we want to look like we’ve got it all together, right?

A few years back, while in the process of writing songs for my most recent album, “Frame of Mind”, I hit an emotional wall that sent me into a very deep depression. At the time, I was having doubts about my musical output and my creativity. I was also dealing with all sorts of personal issues within my family, most notably, the death of both of my Grandparents within a year and a half of each other. I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere, and that nobody really cared. It was a very dark period of time for me.

I am glad to say now that I got past that depression that I felt and things are much better, but there was a time when I really had no idea what was wrong with me or how to fix it. I wrote some lyrics at probably the lowest point during that period, which became the song, “Out of Place”. Writing those words down is what really started me moving in the right direction again. Sometimes the best therapy is to just let your feelings out.

Depression is a real thing. It is not something that you can just “get over”. It is a demon that grabs you and doesn’t let go until damage is done. It tries to drag you down to a place that you would never voluntarily go, and it can happen to ANYBODY!

It seems like there are a lot of people in my life these days that are feeling just this way. Maybe YOU are feeling this way.  If so, I feel the need to share this song with you now. Check it out:

The Lyrics:
In a matter of speaking, I find myself
at a loss for words for how I feel.
So now I’m reaching within myself
to try to distinguish what is real.
What is this place I’ve been drawn to?
Tell me, what am I supposed to do?
Please help me find within this world
the place where I belong.
 
CHORUS 1: What can I do to make things right?
Is there part of me that I need to replace?
I’m trying my best to keep you in sight,
but it takes all I have to see your face.
 
Your perception, when you look at me
may on the surface show something clean.
But a deception is what you see.
These things are seldom what they seem.
Why can’t I show you who I am?
Why can’t I let you see where I stand?
Please help me find within this world
the place where I belong.
 
CHORUS 2: All by myself, I won’t win this fight.
It can only lead me to disgrace.
I don’t want to be alone in the light.
I don’t like to feel so out of place.
 
It’s all so hard
and I’m so tired
Don’t know if I can break away
I can’t make it on my own
 
Please, can you help me break these chains?
I need relief from these silent pains.
Please help me find within this world
the place where I belong.
 
 CHORUSES
 

Through this song and these lyrics, I want you to realize that I struggle too. If you feel out of place in your life, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We all go through dark times, and in order to get past them, you’ve got to have faith in the fact that there is someone out there who knows what you’re going through and can bring you through it. It’s on the other side of these dark times that you will find strength and comfort.

By the way, if you ever feel this way and need to talk about it, I’m right here.

This entry was posted in art, creative process, Life in General, spirituality and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Do You Ever Feel Out of Place?

  1. I love this subject matter, and the subject of your whole blog. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

    Mollie

  2. bgood50 says:

    So timely ; I, also, have been in that “dark place”. I feel the “light” of what God promises, if we will but persist in our faith and trust in Him. For several years all of my Christian beliefs have seemed like trite / cliche’s ; I hungered for something with “substance”. Now that I (believe) am on the “up-side” of the experience, I’m finding others that are somewhere “in the darkeness” and I’m better able to relate. Your lyrics (and the haunting mucical presentation) are just the words I needed to hear. I’m NOT suffering ALONE, or without a purpose. Praise God for that. God Bless. JD
    P.S. I stll refer to JN and Ann in my sermons at Fairbury. What better examples of love and commitment. He was / is my muse for anything “witty and poignant” in my lessons. Thank you.

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